We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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