i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
