Yo dont text me then not text me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
