what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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