Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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