I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
