Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
