Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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