I hate all girls vehemently.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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