is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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