And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she peed on how many people?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
