I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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