Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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