dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
