i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize