..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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