My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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