At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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