Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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