I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize