I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
