You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
