Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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