well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
