is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
