so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
