God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
