it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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