i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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