that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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