Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
