Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
