After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
