just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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