If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
