i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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