literally had 100 drinks last night.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
