He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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