I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
