I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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