i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
