is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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