Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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