He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
