I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
