i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize