I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
