i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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