): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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