I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
