When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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