omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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