Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
