I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
