I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize