why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
