Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
