you guys were way drunker than both of me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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